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I am not Spanish. I am bored of being asked. Actually I come from Sunderland as do my parents and their parents before them. It is simply my misfortune to have been conceived on the Costa Brava. They thought it would be smart and cool to call me Juan. It ruined my childhood and made me the shy introverted young man I turned into. My schooldays were something of a romantic desert.

University turned out to be a whole lot better. I managed to get a place at the University of B…. through the clearing system, reading Political Philosophy. Which made me too late to get into one of the halls, relegating me to a dingy room in the house of Enid Strauss. Before you start getting excited, no I didn’t end up rummaging through her laundry basket and discovering exotic lingerie and losing my virginity to a mature landlady. That is someone else’s story.

But I do owe a big thankyou to Enid. It happened two and a half weeks after the start of term. I hadn’t managed to pull during fresher’s week and had not really managed to make any friends on my course, which was 75% male. Friday evening found me studying in my room preparing for my second Communism tutorial. Enid’s suggestion that I joined her for a glass of wine in her sitting room was very welcome and I did flirt with the mature landlady fantasy, despite her rather plain appearance and a forty year age gap. That is how desperate and fed up I was.

We made small talk about this and that but I guess you aren’t very interested in all that. The important thing for this story is that Enid recognised how pissed off I was and diagnosed the cause without a lot of difficulty. “You don’t have a girlfriend do you Juan? And Uni hasn’t proved to be as sexually exciting as you hoped it would be? Which I find surprising given where you are. You do know that there are 7 girls studying here for every 3 boys?”

I didn’t as it happened. Everyone had told me how there would be loads of girls at Uni but that wasn’t what I found. My course was mostly boys, men I suppose I should call us now we were eighteen and the women on the course were either distant or not my type or actively anti-men. And the Ornithology and Numismatics Societies were much the same.

“That may be the case in the Politics department but it’s not like that in English, History, Sociology, Art History where this Uni concentrates. And you maybe need to be a little less nerdy in your choice of societies. Mixing in the right circles, and refreshing your wardrobe, should improve your chance of getting laid no end. You might even find someone you want a real relationship with. But I guess that just at the moment having sex is what you really need.” Enid clearly wasn’t a lady to pull her punches. “What sort of girl do you fantasise about? Blond? Asian? Tall? Cuddly? “

Not the sort of conversation I was used to having. Certainly not with women in their sixties.

“Blond I guess, or brunette, or redhead. English I suppose. I’ve never really imagined going with a black girl. Not that I’m prejudiced of course. It’s just…”

“That you fantasise about what you see but can’t touch. That’s normal. But don’t rule out women from other countries. I certainly never turned foreign men away when I was more active than I am now.”

An interesting choice of words. Clearly Enid had not given up entirely on sex, though I hadn’t seen any men in the house since I moved in. “It’s not as if I have a choice, Enid. I simply don’t meet any women, from anywhere, who are interested in me. My fantasy woman is tall with fabulous legs and loads of sexy undies but right now I just want to get in someone’s bed and…”

“Lose your virginity. You are still a virgin right? Have you ever had a girlfriend? Do you have any sexual experience at all?” I hung my head in embarrassment. “I thought not. We are going to change that. You are going to have a great time over the next three years, I promise you.” The ridiculous landlady fantasy floated before my eyes and I stared at her. At her tits actually. “Not with me Juan, don’t be ridiculous, I could be your granny.”

Whoops. Busted. “I wasn’t suggesting that. Sorry. I think there are two problems. One is that I don’t meet any women who seem interested and the other is that I have no experience in what to do if I do meet someone.”

“In this town? It should be easy. The shortage of men in the university means that lots of the young men from the town get hoovered up by University girls away from home for the first time and anxious to spread their wings.” By which I think she meant spread their legs. “Lots of young women your age are just as horny as you are you know. They see Uni as a place to find a boyfriend and the lads from town know that full well.” Which simply increased my pessimism at my own chances. “Don’t look so glum Juan. That means there are lots of local girls going without. Girls who are annoyed at the University women and pissed off at their former schoolmates for dumping them for more glamorous pickings on campus. Lots Sincan Escort of them would jump at the chance of a bright young man like you. To jump into bed with you. You are going to have fun Juan I promise.”

At Enid’s suggestion and wearing a brand new shirt a good deal better than the rest of my limited selection I found myself sitting in the corner of the Wagon and Horses on Castle Street early on a Friday evening. It was my third visit. Enid was right. There were a lot of local girls in there. Some sixth formers from the High School, showing off their shiny new ID cards, lots of woman from the biscuit factory and the big store on the corner and plenty of others from who knows where. We men were certainly in a minority. But being in a big room full of interesting women is still a long way from actually having any sexual activity with anyone. My clumsy attempts at chat up lines on the first two evenings had got me nowhere.

I went back to the bar for another pint. “Have you been stood up again? This is the third time this week isn’t it that you have been in here and ended up looking miserable.” What a very observant barmaid. What a lovely pair of pointy tits. My under-used pole gave a little involuntary twitch.

“Uh, uhm. No not exactly I wasn’t here to meet someone. Uhm, I hadn’t made any arrangements to meet anyone. I, uhm, was just here having a drink.”

“By yourself. And hoping to meet someone? But you’re not having a lot of luck are you sweetheart?”. Was she trying to chat me up? What could a women with such a sexy cleavage and a black bra possibly want with me? “I’m up here, if you can take your eyes off my tits”.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean, uhm……”

“It’s all right, sonny. You’re not the first man to talk to my chest, and you won’t be the last. But don’t go getting any ideas.” Which dampened the twitching rather. “You’re not going to get anywhere sitting in the corner all by yourself. If you want my advice you should come and sit up here at the bar. And maybe put your book away!”

I took Margaret’s advice. Good advice as it turned out. A constant stream of young women came up to the bar and Margaret drew me into the little bar conversations. One of which turned into a moan about the friend of a girl called Sally who had just been dumped by her shit of a boyfriend who had started screwing ‘some tart up at that bloody teacher training college’ and had nobody to take to her work’s barbeque the next day.

“Is she looking for volunteers?” I couldn’t believe my own ears. Was that really me talking? I’ve become so desperate I’m now trying to get blind dates with someone I know absolutely nothing about. Margaret laughed out loud.

“I’m not sure if you’re Mia’s type. But come over and meet her. You never know. She’s getting a bit desperate.”

“Don’t be mean Sally. Juan is a nice boy. He’s just a bit shy. I’m sure Mia would like him. And I know he would like Mia. She’s got even nicer tits than I have.”

“Juan? You don’t look very Spanish. I’ve never made a Spanish Geordie before.”

“I’m not a Geordie. I’m from Sunderland”

“Like that makes any difference. Do you want to come and meet Mia or not?”

So I paid for Sally’s drinks and walked across with her to a table with five biscuit makers.

“Girls, this is Geordie Juan. Margaret says he’s a bit lonely and might be persuaded to take Mia tomorrow. Some Juan to take your mind off Tommy eh Mia?.”

“I’m not sure I want to go. Why would I want to take some strange Geordie you’ve just picked up?”. She turned from Sally to me. “And what sort of name is Juan? Are you from the University? What are you doing slumming it down in the Wagon posh boy?”

“I don’t get called posh very often. It seems a nice enough pub. But I hear you need an escort tomorrow. ” I have no idea if she is a nice girl or interested in me but Margaret was right about her breasts. Quantity and Quality. Not that I’m an expert in such things but they could fill my fantasy just as well as they filled her jumper.

“An escort?!?” Everybody laughed. “I’m not paying for some posh escort boy”. This wasn’t going very well.

“Don’t be a prat Mia. That wasn’t what the boy meant and you know it. Can’t you see he’s a bit shy? You’re not very experienced with women are you Juan? My embarrassed look caused much merriment around the table but the ice was broken and I spent the rest of the evening getting drunker and drunker and getting teased mercilessly about almost everything I said.

To my surprise, at the end of the evening, Mia kissed me on the cheek “So you’ll pick me up around half eleven tomorrow then. Ready to ‘escort’ me to the barbie? See you then. Don’t be late”. And she left. Just like that. I had a date with a biscuit packer. Who knows what tomorrow might bring.

Enid was pleased. “See, I knew you could meet someone.”

Given who I am, and what I hoped might come of the day, you will not be surprised to know that I was Etlik Escort outside Mia’s flat at 11.25 prompt. Dressed in what I hoped would be right for a company barbeque. A bit of a funny time of year for a barbeque, a bit optimistic and not really shorts and tee shirt weather. So when Mia opened the door I was a little surprised. She looked super. A summery skirt and a little cropped top. Not that I could tell you what colour or pattern they were. The top showed off her biggest feature. There are said to be tit men and leg men. Me, I’m a horny 18 year old and anything sexy top or bottom turns me on. Mia had a lot up top and her choice of clothing showed it off in the most overt sort of way. My assessment was there was no bra underneath and that she had big sticking out nipples. Which gave me big sticking out trousers.

“Hi, come in. I see you like my tits then”. My embarrassed stuttering did not cause her to stop. “I knew you liked them yesterday but you are going to have to learn not to stare. Come on through”. She was no less direct once we were in the living room and she had sat me down. “It’s lovely that you like me Juan but if you are going to pretend to be my boyfriend tonight you are going to have to stop looking at me like a hungry boy pressed against the bakery window. The way you looked at me just now was if you had never seen a grown woman before. And I wasn’t even naked.”

“Tonight? I thought we were off to a barbeque?” Quite rational thoughts really, considering that most of my mind was occupied with conjuring up images of a naked Mia. How good would that be.

“At this time of year? Yeah, tonight. It’s not really a barbeque. It was supposed to be but it got called off because of lockdown so we are having a dinner tonight but it’s still called the barbeque. You’re not really dressed for it. I hope you have a bag in the car?”

“Uuhm, actually I don’t actually, er, have a car. I walked down from Enid’s, that’s where I’m lodging and, uhm, I don’t have any other clothes with me. Shall I go back and change?”

“Yeah, like, you’re going to have to. You can’t go looking like that. But we can do that later. First we need to get to know each other. Remember you’re pretending to be my boyfriend. I don’t want people thinking I’ve only just met you. Even though I have. And you can’t look as if we are strangers. No tongue hanging out as if you’ve just met me. We’re supposed to be a couple. And couples know what the other’s body looks like.”

And how was I supposed to do that? I thought her body looked fantastic. I’d love to know what it actually looked like. You know, naked. “And how am I going to pretend that?”

“Who said anything about pretending? Let’s start with these shall we? I know you want to see them. You probably played with yourself thinking about them last night didn’t you?” With which she stood up and pulled her top over her head. I was right. There was no bra. Just the loveliest pair of huge tits I had ever seen. With big dark rings — aurie something right? And real life nipples pointing at me. Let’s be honest. The only breasts I had actually seen in the flesh. So much lovelier than in pictures or videos. “You like them then? Put your tongue back in. There’ll be plenty of time for that. You can touch them though. That’s what boyfriends do.”

Really? Did she just say that I could feel her breasts? I reached out and stroked from her left shoulder down across that wonderful smooth soft flesh letting my fingertips graze her nipple and cupped one breast in my hand. I had been longing for such a moment for years. So many nights and mornings since I was thirteen tossing myself off and fantasising about naked women and at last, long, long last I had a real woman’s body in my hands.

“Not so rough, Juan. Your first little stroke was great but don’t squeeze them like that. You’re not wringing out a sponge. My girls expect to be treated better than that. You should know that if you’re going to be my boyfriend.”

“Sorry. Actually shouldn’t we kiss before I play with your body?. Not that I don’t want to play with your body. It’s just that, normally, you know, people… “

“Come here you daft boy.” Her arms draped around my neck and we kissed. Proper lovers kisses. Deep and playful. Hungry. Impatient, lustful kissing. I wanted her so much but the strange thing was she seemed to want me too. She pressed against me, rubbing those wonderful breasts into me as my hands ran up and down her bare back. “You haven’t been here with a lot of girls have you Juan? Normally I would go a bit slower with a new man but we have a lot of ground to cover before we present you tonight as my man. Just stand back for a minute will you.”

I stepped back. Reluctant to take my lips and my hands off her but standing looking at her half naked figure was no great hardship. I had already fallen in lust with her. Gazing straight at me, and with a big naughty smile, she reached down, undid a button and Çankaya Escort let her skirt fall to the ground. Do they make panties any smaller? A black shoelace around her waist and a tiny triangle of semi transparent black with bushy black curls pushing out from either side. I had not imagined my cock could get any bigger but it throbbed with new heights of excitement as I looked at what was being offered to me. Real life pussy.

“What a big boy you have there. Time you took some clothes off too. Assuming you want to carry on?” Damn right I did. Carry On Juan. The sexiest film yet in the series. I hoped. Actually, the way things were going I more than hoped, I sort of expected. This wasn’t going to stop here. It better hadn’t. What did my mother say ‘more haste less speed’. I couldn’t get my shirt off fast enough. Bloody buttons. “Maybe take your socks off before your trousers. Has nobody told you how ridiculous men look in socks but no trousers?” Of course they hadn’t. This was the first time I had undressed in front of a girl.

With me down to my underpants and her in her tiny little knickers she smiled and beckoned me with a crook of her finger to follow. As she turned my excitement went up yet another notch. Which I would not have thought possible but the little black shoelace simply went down between her cheeks and showed off her gorgeous bum to perfection. And follow I did. Into her room, onto her bed, into her waiting arms. My pants came off before hers did, the kissing resumed and my fingers slipped inside those tiny little panties and into her furry moist little slit. Everything had ever dreamed of and more. Her hand wrapped around the Don felt exquisite.

“Come on my little virgin. Let’s get you inside before you burst. You’re not going to last long are……Oh. Whoops.” Bugger. Bugger bugger bugger. Spunk all over her panties and into her curls. A great big sticky mess. “Don’t worry, you’re not the first to fall before the first fence.. I hope you’ve got more in the tank though. ” I hoped so too. And with a couple of minutes passionate kissing and some firm strokes of the Don by her obviously experienced fingers he was back to full vigour. “Now, shall we go just a bit slower?

“I’m so sorry, it’s just that… ” This wasn’t how I had imagined it would be. “I didn’t mean to..you know…”

“Come so fast? Don’t worry about it. Juan. Just enjoy it. There are men who love to spurt over a girl. Some of them even pay for the privilege”

What! “You don’t mean, you’re not…?”

“No Juan, I’m not a hooker. Just understand there are men who pay for the privilege of what you just did by accident. You really are a bit of a naïve virgin aren’t you. Don’t worry about it. I love fucking virgins you know. I like to be the one in charge, to be the teacher. I don’t like cocky guys who think they’re God’s gift and I should be grateful to them. I do like you though. You seem to appreciate me.”

“Appreciate you? I think you’re wonderful. You are…. Gorgeous”

“There’s no need to overdo it! A horny boy like you would think anyone who let them fuck her is gorgeous. Not that I’m not a goddess though. But you are very horny little boy, and I think you are ready for a second go. Now take it slower. Just rest your boy here. Yeah, just here. Do you like that. A bit sticky though but who cares. Oooh yeah. Keep doing that. Yeah. That feels good lover boy. But if you want to go in you have to move back a bit, that’s right. And there you are.”

That feeling. I wish every time I had sex it felt like that glorious moment. The first time the swollen head of my Don slipped into a warm wet welcoming pussy and felt Mia’s muscles resist then relax and suck me deep inside her. The feel of my body, my balls, resting against her bush and the excited thrusting bouncing pistoning joy of feeling the inside of a woman for the first time. Not that sex isn’t always fun ( well, almost always) but that first time was special, an ever to be remembered moment. I had no particular idea of what I was doing that afternoon, just raw instinct, lust and copying porn films but Mia’s sighs and little moans and then the crude grunting as she screamed out “fill my cunt you dirty little man.. Inside me this time. Oh Christ yes, there, there. Uuuhh. Aaaaahh” made me think I’d got something right. Or she was just being charitable. Frankly I don’t care. I certainly managed to come a second time. A virgin no longer.

The dinner didn’t start until seven but by the time we had lain talking, showered (and that took a while squeezed in together) and rushed to Enid’s to get me some smarter clothes we only just made it. Before we went in Mia got all serious. “You’re my boyfriend, right. The girls who were at the Wagon last night know I’ve only just met you but they’re my mates. But as far as anyone else is concerned we met just after you arrived in town and have been going out for a few weeks. So no looking as if you only got to know me this afternoon. I know you did, properly got to know me haha, but please don’t let on. But we are just pretending. You do know that don’t you? You may have had your way with me but that doesn’t make you my boyfriend. We just want people to think that. And don’t look so disappointed. Me and Princess haven’t finished with your education yet, so don’t get all pissed and limp on me.”

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