Auntie Flo Ch. 01

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Hello again,

This is my second submission. I set myself a challenge. To sit down and write a story, from scratch, in one go. No notes, no planning, just pick up the iPad and go.

So, here we are, two visits to the bathroom, one sandwich and three coffees later. I’m really pleased with this one, given the circumstances of its birth – I hope you like it. I’ve called it chapter one, I really hope we can revisit them soon.

Some loony called no1Uno has agreed to help edit this nonsense, you’ll be amazed how better things are now. No, seriously man, thank you very much.

Leave me some feedback if you want. I’d love a pat on the back, but if I need a kick in the balls go ahead, I’m a big boy.

As always enjoy


Aunt Flo, yes I know it’s a stupid euphemism these days, but my granny didn’t when she named my mother’s younger twin sister Florence.

When it came to naming them I think Nana just opened her atlas at random and stuck in a pin – my Mum’s name is Siena #shrugemoji

For identical twins they couldn’t be more different, in terms of personality I mean. They’re scarily similar physically. Both tall, wavy blonde hair, big bums (I know, I know just trying to be honest). Wide blue eyes and absolutely massive boobs.

Flo is Captain Kirk to mum’s Spock. She has been married three times but has no kids, whereas mum has been married once and has three. I was the first, John, born 23 years ago, followed two years later by Scott and Jennifer, also twins. Both mum and Flo are single now, Flo divorced again, mum sadly widowed.

Mum is a scientist, a professor really. Theoretical stuff, maths that looks like it was made up for a movie. She thinks a lot, like for hours on end sometimes. Just stares at the walls, focusing every ounce of her will into a tiny, mysterious spot in her mind until it blooms like a flower with… an idea. Ideas are the key, they set us apart from the rest of the animals and mum’s ideas set her apart from the rest of us.

I’ve tried to talk about her work, but you’d need a PhD in physics to just be able to ask her a dumb question. And I don’t have one. I do, however have a PhD in hugs and in that domain we communicate just fine. She works from home and I’m a big baby so we see each other a lot.

The twins are at university in America, they are really good at playing golf and got scholarships to basically fuck about in a field in California all day. I’m not jealous, but when I fuck about in a field it means next door’s dog has escaped under the back fence again. Mrs Charles is over eighty and can’t catch the little bastard. She’s got me on speed dial now. No matter, it’s good exercise.

You’d think I would be the family disappointment, no superbrain, no supernatural sporting abilities, but I’m actually not. I’m what’s known as “The Glue.” I can’t believe it but that was actually my nickname for a while growing up. I seem to have this ability to keep people calm and allow them to connect with each other and with the universe around them. I’m not aware of it, it just oozes out of me, the glue. Shit that sounds weird, it’s more like I’m an enabler. I enable people to reach their potential, to find their balance.

For example, yesterday I was making mum’s breakfast and we were talking. She was trying to explain the problem she was having. There was a hole in her latest theory and she needed an idea to fill it. So far she hadn’t had one for weeks and was becoming frustrated, so I suggested we go visit Auntie Flo. On the way she saw a flock of birds swooping around a tree and she had an idea! See? I’m a genius.

Hey, don’t knock it, that nickname was hard earned. I think the truth is that I’m pretty average. Most people are either brilliant at things or completely shit at them. Add it all up and average everything out, you get their personality. I’m just average at everything, my ability bell curve is a straight horizontal line. This means while I don’t excel at anything, I don’t suck either, no weaknesses.

Well, there is one weakness perhaps, big mature tits! I know, of all the things it could have been, growing up around two gorgeous, busty cougars, what are the odds?

I love my Auntie Flo, she’s such a free spirit. I mean I love my mum obviously, but she

(sadly, I often think) just doesn’t have that spark, that unpredictable hair trigger that Flo does. When I look at mum, my gluey senses pretty much know exactly what she’s thinking, unless it’s physics and shit of course. When I look at Flo, she looks exactly the same, but I have no idea if she’s about to sing a song or jump out of the window!

For a flatliner like me that’s extraordinarily exciting. Her bell curve is like a fucking seismograph during an earthquake, all over the place – she’s brilliant!

When we arrived at Flo’s Gaziantep Escort house that morning she was up a ladder, fiddling with an upstairs window.

“Whatcha doin’ pretty lady?” I called up, shielding my eyes from the spring sunshine.

“I’m doing the dishes dumbass, what do you think I’m doing?” Mum sighed as I snorted a laugh. My heart broke a little bit for her once more, as it had a million times before.

Flo, was coming down the ladder, her toned bum cheeks wobbling in her painted on jeggings. She jumped off the third rung straight into my arms, the ladder crashing to the ground. Her neighbour’s cat screeched and took off like a piece of shrapnel from a grenade.

“Hey there Hugmeister” she cooed, arms round my neck, legs around my waist, tiny, wet kisses fluttering over my cheek.

“Hey yourself Boobmistress, it’s great to see you. You need a hand up there?”

“No, I don’t think I could manage that love, a couple of fingers were fine this morning thanks! Oh, you meant the window… well, now that you come to mention it I could do with a little bit of help. I’m so old and frail these days.” My back begged to differ.

You see what I mean though, she’s fantastically funny and has such a dirty, cheeky mind. We always flirted in that platonic family way, like a de-sexualised zone… until this very second, when she squirmed her pussy very firmly over my cock!

I pulled back and looked in her eyes, noticing that special glint, lips pouting like a naughty school girl. I tilted my head and raised an eyebrow quizzically. She responded with a lurid up and down, round and round motion with her hips. My hands shot to her bum, not quite believing how amazing it felt. Mmm…

Shit, mum! I bumped my belly into Auntie Flo and dropped her to the ground. Was she panting?

“Hi sis” she said moving to mum’s side to put an arm around her shoulders “what’s new in the Twilight Zone?”

“Nothing much, John helped me with an idea on the way over, I need to get back and work through it though.” I could see her slipping towards the “Zone” that place her mind went to when it was time to kick her thinking into high gear.

“You want me take you home mum?” I asked.

“No thanks love” she said, “call me an Uber would you? Visit with your auntie and drive home later. Ok honey?”

“Sure” I said, calling up the app on my phone

“Ray will be here in six minutes.”

Looking up I could see that glassy stare sliding into place over her eyes as her body started to devote all of its non-essential resources to her brain.

When the Uber arrived I told Ray the driver I’d double his fee if he walked mum up to the front door and made sure she got in safely.” “No problem boss, much obliged,” he said.

With that, they were off, in a cloud of cloying diesel smoke. “Buy a Tesla you dinosaur” I yelled after them.

I turned to Flo asking “so is your kettle broke or what?”

“It’s fine you cheeky sod” she grinned “come on” waving me indoors.

I followed, trying desperately to look at anything other than her spectacular rear end.

Her three divorces had netted her generous settlements each time and she owned this old rectory outright. It was a gorgeous home, ivy covered and situated in over an acre of mature woodland. It was rather sparsely furnished, but that left the rooms feeling very spacious. What furniture there was was of the highest quality, antiques mostly. She had an amazing eye for that sort of stuff and even with her eclectic tastes, everything worked together wonderfully.

She scooted me into the kitchen, settling me down on a stool at the breakfast bar.

“I just made some treacle scones this morning, they should still be warm.”

Yes! Auntie Flo’s treacle scones were my number one, no contest, favourite food on earth. She really was the epitome of a domestic goddess, keeping a wonderfully stylish home, cooking like an angel and radiating warmth and love like a furnace.

“Why don’t you have any children Auntie Flo? You’d be an amazing mum.” It had just slipped out. I wondered in that moment why I’d never asked her that before, it seemed such an obvious question.

She screeched to a halt, turning towards me. Her big blue eyes filled up with tears and she… imploded!

I’d never seen anything like it, it was terrifying. One second she was getting butter for the scones, the next she was crumpled on the floor, howling as if she was in agony. Turned out she was.

I skirted round the island and fell to my knees beside her, gathering her into my arms.

“Flo, darling Flo, what’s wrong, what did I say?” I was bereft. I’d never seen her like this. Shit, I’d never seen anyone like this. She was sobbing, hauling in great lungfuls of air and releasing them forcefully alongside a flood of tears, snot and spittle. She was moaning, a haunting, painful sound that tore me up inside. I rocked Gaziantep Escort Bayan her like a baby, back and forth, crooning into the nape of her neck.

Whispering words of encouragement and love. It felt like hours.

After maybe fifteen minutes she seemed to be coming back to me, so I got her up on to a stool, handing her tissues one after another, like an industrial conveyer belt. I grabbed a soft cloth from the bottom drawer and soaked it in warm water. Wringing it out I started dabbing lightly at her beautiful face. Her eyes were red and puffy, cheeks pale, top lip quivering.

But the crying had stopped. She looked up, taking the cloth and wiping herself more aggressively. She took a deep breath in through her nose and puffed out her cheeks.

“Whoo, didn’t have that on the agenda this morning” she said, her eyes brightening. “Thanks sweetie, you always know just how to look after this silly old woman.”

I meshed my fingers behind her neck, drawing her face to my chest in a light hug. Kissing her hair I said “you ok? That was a bit… shocking, even for you,” trying to raise a smile.

“Yeah, I guess you found my self destruct button. I thought I’d hidden it better than that.”

“Come on, come with me. I don’t know about you but I need a drink,” I said.

I led her into the lounge and set her on the plush Chesterfield.

“Too early for a wee rum?” I asked.

“Fuck no, it’s five o’clock somewhere, make it a double.”

“Right you are milady” I said uncorking her favourite Diplomatico Ambassador and pouring a hefty measure. Fuck, that would be £100 in a pub I thought.

“Have one yourself honey” she said as I handed her the drink “I think we need to talk.” I poured myself a more sensible nip and sat down beside her.

“You know I didn’t mean to hurt you Flo. It just popped into my head to ask you when I saw how amazing you looked in the kitchen. You looked like a mom-goddess.” Time to shut up now, let her tell me.

“I know sweetie, don’t worry it’s not your fault.”

She stared into her glass, swirling the heady, brown spirit round and round, clearly deep in thought, trying to tame her tumultuous thoughts and emotions. I took her hand in mine and she looked up into my eyes.

“I’ve had an amazing life baby, really amazing. Fun, fun, fun, parties, galas, lovers, family. I’ve loved almost every minute of it. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, that I can teach you, it’s this:

Don’t keep secrets. Even the smallest secrets, they grow and grow over time and eventually get so big that you feel your heart will burst if you don’t let them out. Secrets are pain and I don’t ever want to see you in pain.

When your mum and I were in school she had a boyfriend. His name was John. We were eighteen and just learning about boys and kissing and stuff. All very innocent you know. Anyway, she really liked John. He wasn’t at school, he was a little older and worked on a farm but he was lovely. All boyish charm and burgeoning sex appeal.

Si wanted to wait until she was married before she ‘did it’ as we’d say back then and that was fine. She was my twin, I loved her and I didn’t care about that.

And then we had a falling out. One of those stupid sister things. I’d bought a new dress and she’d taken it and worn it on a date with John. I don’t know what they were doing but my dress got torn and I’d never even got to wear it.

We never had much back then, your Nana worked miracles to keep us at school so the dress was a big deal for me. I was beside myself with rage. For the first time in my life I wanted to truly hurt her. So I did.

I sneaked out one evening and met John, pretending to be Siena. You know we look similar now, but back then we were absolutely identical. The poor boy had no idea. I led him on. I was always a bit more adventurous than her I suppose. One thing led to another and we ended up having sex. I couldn’t wait to tell her and see her face!

Well, I did and quickly realised that my little prank had actually been pretty nasty. John found out. They found him the next morning in the woods by the school. He’d used his belt.

Siena wouldn’t speak to me for months. I tried and tried to apologise but she was broken, I couldn’t reach her.

Then I started to show. I didn’t really know what was happening but Nana did and she took me to the doctor. John had been the only one, I was having his baby.

Amazingly, when Si found out, it brought her back to me. We had a morning a bit like this where we both cried and cried and eventually we were back together, the Meadow twins against the world.

Siena felt that the baby was a tiny piece of John that she could cling to. She would love that baby like her own. And she did. She went to all my appointments with me, the stupid Lamaze classes, everything.

And then it was time for John’s son to meet his mums, he was Escort Gaziantep coming.

It was a difficult labour, he was such a big strong baby and I was so tiny. It took over a day. When he finally came out the doctors went crazy. But there was nothing they could do. The umbilical cord had got wrapped around his neck. Our beautiful baby didn’t survive. And I could never have another one.

I don’t think I ever recovered really. I couldn’t talk to Siena about it or Nana, or anyone. I wrapped up all the pain and sadness and regret and buried it as deep inside myself as I could and kept it secret. Until today, when your simple little question smashed the walls I’d built around it and let all that horror come back.”

We were both crying now, big wracking sobs, tears splashing down on to the expensive leather of the settee.

“Is that… am I named… for him?”

“Yes, your dad never knew. John was his father’s name so he was flattered and never questioned it.

Yeah, so keeping secrets hurts boyo. Please don’t do it. I’m not going to keep mine any more.”

And in that instant she was on me. A prowling, sexual predator. Her puffy lips were all over mine, hot slippery tongue duelling ferociously with my own.

She flowed up over my body, resting that spectacular chest on mine. I was lost, completely at sea. Auntie Flo, what the fuck? But while my brain was frozen, the older part of me, the animal part, took charge. It knew that the sexiest woman I’d ever seen was here. With me. In heat. And it knew what do.

I tried, once, to say something, pulling my head back “Auntie Flo?” I sounded hysterical. “Shut up” she growled “and FUCK ME!”

She rose up off her knees, pulling her leggings down those luscious thighs to her knees and off her legs. In the split second it took me to notice she hadn’t been wearing panties she had my shorts undone, pulled down and my rampant cock was inside her. How the fuck had she done that? She was like some sort of sex magician or something.

While my brain floundered around with stupid thoughts like that, my body went wild. All ahead flank. Warp Factor 9, Mr Crusher. My hands grabbed her ass, hauling her steaming vagina hard on to my cock. No more euphemisms today, this was hardcore fucking.

She slammed her delicious twat on to my turgid spear relentlessly, her scalding cream splashing over our thighs. I rose to meet her stroke for stroke, trying desperately to cram more of my throbbing prick into her volcanic hole.

She was TIGHT. Tighter than anything I’d ever felt. Tight and warm and hot and soft and slippery and GLORIOUS. This was fucking as the ancient gods had intended. Fucking to fry our nerve ends, to scorch our minds of the petty trivialities of our lives. Fucking to bring peace to the universe, fucking to show that love isn’t just the best thing, it’s the only thing.

Well the ancient gods may have been all that but I was just a man. A man involved in the single greatest experience of his life, but just a man nonetheless. And that man’s only purpose, like every man before and after him, was to blast his sperm into the deepest recesses of this woman. And this man was ready. Really, really ready!

My brain was slowly regaining control and seemed to have pretty much come to terms with the situation. So much so in fact that I suddenly realised a couple things:

My right index finger was buried to the root in Auntie Flo’s hot, spicy asshole, and

Her top had come loose and she’d moved further up my body to literally drown me in tit flesh!

I’m motorboating my aunt! Could this day get any weirder? I wasn’t sure, but what I did know was that it was about to get a whole lot better.

There were sounds in the room, sounds that actually started to make sense, resolving into words. It was Auntie Flo. She was screaming.

“Fuck me baby, fuck your slutty aunt with that beautiful cock. Give me your sperm, I NEED it. Oh Jesus baby I’m close, so close yes, yes, yes, oh John I’m cumming, I’m cumming for you. Cum in me please darling, cum in me, cum in me. PLEASE.”

So I did.

Great big gouts of creamy, white cum. Blasting into her core as her monstrous orgasm overtook her. Globs of sperm forcing their way up inside her. Whatever muscles and tubules I had down there worked overtime to give her every drop of spunk I had. They did me proud.

And then, suddenly, it was over. The single greatest fuck in the history of the human race was done.

It didn’t stop dead of course. I was tired and sore but still hard for now. Flo wasn’t sitting still, she was moving lithely, humping gently up and down, back and forth, stirring my seed inside her. Her lips were on mine. Gone was the ferocity, the rage, the fear, replaced with tenderness, warmth and our all consuming love.

It was… magnificent.

She pulled back, her sparkling eyes burning into mine and smiled, totally focused on me.

I spoke. I managed to actually say something. Something dumb. Of course, you know me.

I know, I know, but I couldn’t help it. Shut up, you weren’t there.

I said,

“Right, do you want me to look at that window?”

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